When Kids Speak Their Minds: 35 Times Children Were Candid (And Hilariously) Honest With Grown-Ups
Kids can say some of the funniest things you’ve ever heard. Their innocence usually translates into plenty of laughs for the adults around them, which is why we’re delighted to bring you this heartwarming and hilarious list.
Sometimes, kids can also say some pretty offensive or rude things. Of course, we can’t really blame them since they don’t know any better. So, instead, let’s enjoy their unfiltered observations and take a look at 35 times kids roasted adults by simply being their honest, innocent selves.
Let Me Show You How It’s Done
Let’s begin with Random Kid, who wanted to know if his friend’s mother was funny. He marched right up to the mom and asked if she was as amusing as her son. What is the best way to answer when a kid runs up to you and asks if you’re funny?
Judging from her answer, we bet this mom didn’t know either. Random Kid roasted her without even realizing it. Unimpressed by his friend’s unfunny mom, Random Kid just blinked and walked away.
Growing Up Is Boring
When you’re still young, grownups seem super serious, super old, and super boring. While kids get to do a lot of fun stuff, adults have to do boring adult things. From a little one’s perspective, all adults do is go to work, set house rules, and talk endlessly about “chores” and “stress.”
The question asked by this Twitter user’s daughter was an unintentionally sassy yet valid one. We have to admit, she’s not far from the truth!
Share Your Candy
Kids might not always get what’s happening. Still, that doesn’t mean they can’t connect the dots between Point A and Point B. It just means that, sometimes, they got lost along the way. Take this cute 4-year-old, for example.
This adorable little guy felt that he deserved some of his mom’s candy from Mother’s Day. His reasoning? Since he was the one who made her a “mom” in the first place, he gets to celebrate Mother’s Day with her. What a smart little man, right? Or it could be that he’s just a fan of candy.
Who Are You?
Kids are great at saying what they mean without trying to sugarcoat anything. When they express themselves, they don’t bother with niceties. Instead, they cut right to the cold, hard truth.
This tweet reveals a parent’s painfully honest experience with their 11-year-old. The kid apologized for misbehaving in the car. Sweet, right? Well, the kid’s apology also included, “I love you so much but sometimes forget to care about your existence.” Ouch. She probably meant, “I forget to think about other people,” but she unwittingly roasted her parent.
The Ugly Purse Club
Not everything in life makes complete sense, especially from a child’s perspective. An example is thinking about what makes a mom a mom. Is it because they have children or because they’re married? Or is it because they all have ugly purses?
This daughter certainly thought about the ugly purse factor. Maybe she believed that all moms had to get a purse from the ugly purse store or even a local mom’s club. We don’t know either!
The Oldest Person On Earth
Kids also don’t have a concept of age. Sure, they know they’ve been around for a short time. Still, they don’t yet have the ability to figure out how old people around them are. This means you should be careful when you ask a kid how old they think you are – they might just say something completely out of line!
This adorable 5-year-old was asked how old she thought someone was, and she didn’t hold back. The girl guessed that the person was the “last number” years old. Apparently, adults are ancient!
The best comeback anyone can use is, “No, YOU are!” No matter the context, it can be a funny and silly way to reply to anything. When kids use it, though, it can turn into the ultimate roast.
For the 5-year-old above who just wanted to have a good time, the “No, YOU” comeback worked like a charm. If you’re a parent, you probably already know how much that instability comment would have stung the poor mom!
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
Learning is a huge part of growing up. Kids have a lot to learn, especially when it comes to the human body. This kid, in particular, didn’t quite understand how hair growth works.
She was obviously confused about her daddy’s impending baldness. Rather than thinking about hair fall or thinning hair, she leaped to a strange but funny conclusion. The little kid thought her daddy’s hair had just started moving in the opposite direction. That sounds interesting but painful for poor dad!
My Ancient Mommy
Insulting an adult’s age seems to be a common thing that most kids unintentionally do. Check out this kid who accidentally yet lovingly made a harsh statement about her mom’s age.
At the end of the day, aging shouldn’t be offensive to us, but we do live in a society where youth is valorized. With that in mind, this little anecdote is cute, with only the lightest roasting involved. Just think of how this mom felt when her three-year-old told her, “I love you, my oldest Mommy.” We’re sure she felt like a relic of the past indeed.
A Parent’s Sacrifices
Though most parents do the best job they can, some kids still take them for granted. Of course, these children grew up with everything that their parents could give – clean clothes, three meals a day, and plenty of nice things. Isn’t that what most parents strive to provide?
Still, some kids can and do ask for more. This four-year-old who absolutely loves kittens wanted one so much that they were willing to kick their mom out of the house for one. That’s hilarious but not at all acceptable!
Fashion is another thing that kids, and sometimes even adults, don’t completely understand. If you looked at a woman’s chic printed silk suit, you’d be forgiven for thinking it looks like pajamas. People also comment on other fashion pieces, saying fluffy sliders look like slippers or that vintage tracksuits look “ridiculous.” Crazy!
The fact that children get onto this fashion-bashing train makes sense. And we must say that they can be pros at throwing major fashion shade, as we can see from this cute exchange between a 9-year-old and their parent.
What A Mistake
It’s super fun to talk with little ones. You can see how they explore and view the world in their own way. If you’ve ever talked to a child, you’ll know that those conversations are full of questions. And that’s good! It just means that they’re exploring a world full of interesting curiosities.
For instance, this parent was trying to teach their kid about the concept of mistakes. The kid got the spirit but ended up unintentionally comparing his parent’s cooking to a mistake since it never tastes good. Oof!
This could be one of our favorite roasts on this list. It gets us laughing every single time we read it. The setting, the timing, the content – we only wish we were there to witness this joke in person (minus the dad leaving the shower, of course!).
As this savage six-year-old watched her dad get out of the shower, she immediately yelled, “It looks like a minion!” There’s no doubt her mom will crack up every time she remembers this classic moment. Dad might not be so impressed, though.
Not Like You
Whether it’s because of looks, personalities, or even interests, many kids get told that they’re the spitting image of their parents.
This kid experienced the same thing. However, he wasn’t that impressed when his dad told him, “You remind me of me.” This sassy little one responds right away by saying, “That’s just mean.” Though he’s too young to fully understand just how savage that comeback was, it still hit home for the dad. Using his own words against him – that’s just plain mean!
When you have children, you have to deal with being roasted by your own kid and by their friends as well! Dealing with a bunch of children who don’t get that they’re being offensive is just a rite of passage in parenthood. You need to be tough when faced with all that!
Take this mother, for example. Her son referred to her as a Disney Princess, but not in the most complimentary way. For them, the wild-haired Scottish archer “Merida” from Brave was the ideal comparison. Call us crazy, but we’d still consider this a compliment!
Pretty In Green
This one gave us a good chuckle. Kids are brutally honest, so it is super flattering when they give you a compliment. They’ll happily call you a fossil, tell you that you’re “the oldest-number-years-old,” or even say your cooking is bad. So if they call you pretty, you should be ecstatic, right?
This auntie was thrilled with the compliments coming from her 3-year-old niece until she found out who else the kid thought was pretty. The Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz – yep, that nasty green lady. On the bright side, maybe this kid just doesn’t judge when it comes to beauty standards.
One of the most difficult things parents have to deal with is telling their kids about death and grief. When faced with loss, some kids dwell on it. Others seem to accept it more readily, but they’re still at risk of asking some insensitive questions.
This story revolves around a little boy who was struggling to figure out how death actually works. He decided that death must be all about age, looked at his dad, and told him he would be next. That would have been quite chilling for poor old dad, but that’s kids for ya!
Here’s yet another addition to the long list of things children don’t understand: photography. Little Rosemary tried to connect a photograph of her grandmother when she was young with the elderly woman she knew. The results were hilarious.
Considering the huge shift in a person from 45 to 90, it makes sense that a 5-year-old like Rosemary would conclude what she did. From her point of view, it is a part of life to get a head transplant as one grows older. After all, that’s what Grandma must have done!
My Dad’s The President!
If you can get a new head as you grow older, then you can certainly become the president of the United States of America with just a change of clothes. At least, that’s what this kid thought! However, we must remember that many children want to grow up and become a dog or even a dinosaur. They don’t have the best grasp on reality.
So when this little one saw his dad in a suit for the first time, he instantly thought he was the president. To tell you the truth, this anecdote is quite heartwarming and cute.
More and more kids are growing up in diverse families. This is all thanks to same-sex marriage and adoption being legalized in countries across the world – and that’s a fantastic thing. A new generation will grow up with a better understanding of love and more open ideas of who can make a family together.
Of course, kids can easily embrace that. What they have a hard time accepting is the fact that some kids have two moms because double the moms = double the rules. How cute!
Boys Boys Boys
Kids sometimes struggle with understanding the gender roles in our society. The typical markers of genders change over time – just think of men having ponytails in Victorian England or even the popular 1920s bob. Heck, even some of our favorite 80s rockers rocked long hair!Boys Boys Boys
But for children, life starts making sense when you categorize things. Since it’s still common for girls to have long hair and boys to have short hair, some kids think that’s just how things have to be. So, who can blame this kid for jumping to the conclusion he did?
Sigh It Out
Kids don’t fully understand the rules of adult society until they’re in their teen years. Even then, you can’t expect them to know everything right away. A lot of the time, they just kinda float through the world and say the first thing that pops into their brain. Unfortunately, that first thing is sometimes offensive!
Notice how this four-year-old accidentally roasted their mom with a simple sentence. After leaning into mama’s arm, the kid sighed and said, “I love squishy things.” Of all the things that they could say, it had to be that!
The Man Under The Mustache
Facial hair can be a funny thing. If you’re talking to someone who has a beard or a mustache, you don’t even think about it most times. The situation is similar when someone wears glasses: you can see that they wear glasses, but you don’t fully register this fact every time. It becomes a natural part of how they look in your brain.
Even for adults, it can be a huge shock when a person’s long-term physical trait changes. For kids, that shock is even more intense. After this person’s dad shaved off his mustache, they thought he was a completely different person!
Remember that kid who called her aunt pretty but then also called the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz pretty? This one’s pretty much the same, only it’s for a more modern audience. This little guy saw reality star Kim Kardashian and exclaimed, “That’s Mommy!” So far, so good, right?
Well, not really. Because when the next guest came on, the three-year-old also thought that they were “Mommy.” The next guest? The bearded, grizzly Joaquin Phoenix of Joker fame. Yep. Ouch!
Mom, What Happened?
Even though there are a ton of entries on this list about kids roasting their parents’ appearances, it never gets old. It’s always brutal yet hilarious, so here’s another one! This mom decided to show her kid some old photos, hoping it’d spark their curiosity and interest.
It certainly did, but not in the way she had hoped. Her son was definitely curious and interested, but he was more concerned about how his mom had let herself go. Savage!
Chins Across The Board
Since kids do not know what society considers rude, they don’t really understand what is and isn’t appropriate to say. Sure, we can teach them good manners, but we can’t teach them everything. A kid may not be aware that it’s impolite to refer to someone’s arm as “squishy” or to point out someone’s many chins.
Who can argue with a kid’s innocent perspective? Though it’s slightly offensive, this comment is also adorable. And now that we think of it, why is it acceptable to compliment someone’s collection of shoes but not their collection of chins?
A Real Mom
Seeing as we’re on the topic of kids commenting on people’s appearances, take a look at this burn from someone’s daughter.
Yes, we know and respect how busy parents can be. Sometimes, they’re too busy to fix themselves up or make themselves look presentable. That’s probably why this lady’s daughter felt the need to comment on how her mom looked like a real mom after dressing up. Maybe she wanted to pay a compliment to her mother! Unfortunately, she just really missed the mark.
Who Is She?
Here’s another example of a child getting confused when they see their usually scruffy parent dressed up. These types of quips never get old!
For this one, a mother got ready and went to her job interview, and then returned with groceries. Just as she got home, her four-year-old spotted her from the window. However, something wasn’t right. He shouted to his other parent in the house that there was “some lady” with lipstick on coming to the door. Props to him for being careful because they could have let a stranger into the house!
Are you starting to see any common traits among these comments from adorable kids? Yeah, we got it, too. It appears that women are caught between a rock and a hard place. When they dress up, their kids don’t recognize them. When they don’t, their kids criticize their appearance. It really is hard to be a woman in today’s society!
This poor lady didn’t fare any better than the others. Imagine showing up to see your goddaughters and being greeted with confusion and tears. Ouch!
Never Skip Mascara
It’s not just mothers, aunties, and godmothers who cop insults from children. Teachers also have to keep up good appearances for the sake of the kids. Just imagine having to walk into a room of opinionated and honest children every day – they’ll find a way to comment on anything about you!
For this teacher who skipped putting on her mascara, it was a difficult day at school. Most of her kids didn’t recognize her, and one even wanted to know what the heck happened to her face!
Where’s Aunt Betsy?
Kids have a hard time understanding that a person can look different from one day to the next. Whether they put on makeup or shave their mustache off, the way that people look often changes. Still, it makes sense that kids think a person’s appearance is fixed. After all, it takes a while to develop a sense of object constancy.
This little niece of a newlywed bride was amazed to see just how much a person can change. From the beautiful bride the night before to her aunt now, the little girl couldn’t believe the change at all!
A Beautiful Clown
We’ve seen it many times before when kids try to give a compliment but end up completely roasting someone. Squishy arms, multiple chins, looking like a “real” person – they’re all compliments but not quite because kids don’t have the words or the context to express themselves properly.
In this instance, a little boy commented on his mom’s appearance after going to a makeup professional. He told her she looked beautiful, yes, but “like a clown.” At least he said she was beautiful!
Two Moms In One
Kids regularly pick apart how their mothers look. For this little guy, he thought that “mom with makeup” and “mom without makeup” were different versions of his mom. Since they were different versions, they needed separate introductions. That makes sense, right?
Well, it made sense to the kid. While presenting his family, he referred to dad as just “dad.” However, he introduced his mom as “mom with makeup on.” Maybe he just wanted to say that his mom doesn’t usually wear makeup. Whatever the reason, it’s still not ideal!
Speaking of mothers with multiple versions, let’s look at this amusing post about a young girl who had trouble keeping track of just how many moms she has. To be clear, this kid does have two moms: Mummy and Mama. It makes sense so far. However, when she started talking about her “old Mummy,” her moms naturally got confused and wondered who she actually meant.
Apparently, there’s a simple explanation! It turns out that this child with a wild imagination has also separated one Mommy into two – one pre-haircut and one post-haircut. How inventive!
Kids can get confused about things like gender expression and its relation to hair length. They make sense of the world by sorting everything into categories. That’s how they end up with their way of thinking.
As we get older, we learn that it isn’t all that simple, and we’re free to choose any hairstyle we want. But we aren’t quite there yet when we’re in kindergarten. When these kids saw their teacher’s short hairstyle, they were immediately confused. Though they jumped to different conclusions, it’s nice to see that they eventually got it in the end.
Here’s another tale of “short hair, don’t care” that we love. Here, wearing a skirt added to the confusion that these preschool kids experienced.
We already know that society puts pressure on kids when it comes to gender, so it makes complete sense that they experience some confusion when they try to figure it all out. Here, the puzzled little kids needed to confirm whether their short-haired teacher was a boy or a girl.
We need to give a shoutout to all the heroic mothers who are constantly told that they don’t look as good as they did in the past. Society already does that enough, and no one ever wants to hear it from their own kid.
While the poster’s young son looked at his parents’ wedding photographs, he was confused as to who the “pretty lady” was next to his dad. We wonder what she said in reply!
Makeup Changes Moms
We do feel a little bad for these parents who have to deal with hurtful side comments. In the end, though, we’re here to have a good time and chuckle at their accidentally savage kids. After all, they don’t know what they’re doing. All they need to know is why their moms seem to look so bad all the time.
This one boy just pointed at a picture of his mother wearing makeup and casually roasted how she usually looks. The thing is, you can’t even be mad at them because you know they love you, no matter how you look.
We’ve talked about the craziest things that kids say about their parents’ bodies. Part of that includes some body parts that adults prefer to hide away (aka, their private parts). Kids have a knack for pointing out appropriate things in places where many people can hear, like dressing rooms or public bathrooms. So, these moments always make for a funny but embarrassing time.
Here, a kid refused to believe that her friend’s mom’s big bosom was actually real. She compared them to basketballs. At least she wasn’t shy about it!
This little guy was convinced that his classmate had two mommies, even clearly describing their differences. This is common among many young kids, and they don’t really mind telling people about their other versions.
This mother had no choice but to listen to her daughter’s classmate when he explained that she was actually two people! Apparently, she was “the pretty mom” and “the other mom” as well. Seriously, someone needs to give these mothers a prize for dealing with stuff like this!